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I also wanted to say these things:

I'm good at googling. I can find ancient articles and pictures and blogs of other people. I wonder if anyone can find mine?

I enjoyed Jason Reeves on Sunday. I enjoyed drinking too much. I enjoyed the punishment of drinking too much for five hours on Monday morning. Yes, that is sadistic. And yes, I was punishing myself probably. But it did feel good to let go and cuddle with some friends on the couch at Sainte Rock. And was really blessed to have all my expenses paid.

I enjoyed Tuesday night at church. I didn't even feel condemnation about my overindulgence in alcohol. That's amazing. Even when my friend Joel said he wished I had reached out to him or Aileen for prayer, I didn't feel condemnation. That's great. Goodbye condemnation! I am so done with you.

Tuesday night was amazing. Especially the part where I started manifesting at the end of the service. Yodi was giving a testimony and she said, "You've got to close the door behind you so the one in front of you can open." Hence begins my third stint of birth pains I've had in my lifetime. My stomach tightened down and the only thing I wanted to do was get on the floor, spread my legs and push. Weirdest thing ever. But due to my pride and fear of man, I just got on my knees cause the pain was too intense to stand and put my head on the stage. THEN Shawn Bolz calls the ministry team into action. I'm not sure I can get up. But I do and I start praying over people. Still having contractions. Caught the eye of Mr. Actor-I'm Also From Nashville-Cutey who was watching me and wanted to shoot myself for dishonoring God in that moment. People were falling all around me. Yodi was covered in sweat and half looked like she was foaming at the mouth. It was pandemonium.

I realise I can no longer minister and I sit down. I see people staring at me like come pray for me, but I couldn't. So Aileen passes by and I grab her and tell her what is happening. Fast forward 30 minutes. We're outside now in the parking lot. Yodi has just prayed over Aileen and I am having contractions still but unwilling to make a fool of myself. I hear Aileen start yelling and praying in tongues. So I go over to her and I crouch down in the same corner and yep, I began. What a site. Seriously. At one point I swore I was going to vomit and I was dry-heaving.

Then I met up with the peeps at Bob's Big Boy. Try being vegan there.

Wednesday is unexpected. Three hours of getting my hair done that I didn't wake up knowing was happening. And also, the deal is that for this $300+ hairdo...I have agreed to let my stylist-for-life live with me. But hey, I have a stylist. Hurry home cause Joel is picking me up for M. Ward. Who is M. Ward? I don't know. But he starts playing and guess what? I start having contractions again. Insane. You think it's about music? (Yeah two guys at expression tuesday told me it was about writing and the 2nd clarified it's about writing music.) then believe it or not, zooey deschanel takes the stage. weird. since it used to be that DAILY people would tell me I look like her.

next interesting thing is there was a guy in front of me who just passed out during the show. like he started falling forward and then falling backward. ok so I was praying in tongues because i was in labor, spiritual labor. then...even weirder yet...pair after pair in front of me turn around and leave during the concert. bizarre.

we went out to Toi Thai after. weird spiritual funk about that place. but amazing food. mmmmmm. still craving more.

can i say what a blessing that meal after meal (bob's and thai) were paid for this week? and not to mention two concerts? that's insanity.

thursday. boring. worked out.
friday. boring. blew money on hair products and whole foods.

and that i had to vent i don't know why. but i know that people are reading this or will read this. and will find that somehow this is significant. if only my future self.

kisses.